| I am my own 4 AM friend. Everyday at 4 AM, I have deep conversations with myself like, "What's wrong with you? Tu Sota Kyon Nahi Hai?" |
| I forgot to go to the gym today. That's 3 years in a row now! |
| I think girls with Thakur surname get the coolest marriage proposals. "Yeh Haath Humein De De, Thakur"! |
| Once my mom asked me to stand outside the room for a whole night as a punishment. That is the only one night stand I've had till now! |
| Out of all my body parts, I'm sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day! |
| The only thing that's upgrading in my life every year is the software I use! |
| What do you call three trees? A tree-o! |
| Me at midnight: It's almost time for bed, so I guess I'll just check Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and one full season of a TV show on Netflix real quick! |
| It's hard to explain puns to Kleptomaniacs, they always take things literally! |
| I wish I could swipe people in real life like Tinder! |
