| Doctor: So how's your diet and exercise going? Man: Pretty well I should say. Yesterday I had a juice cleanse and went for a brisk walk. Wife: Yesterday you had an entire bottle of wine and then fell down the stairs! |
| A Coded Message: SOMEtimes I make jokes at my wife's expense, but hONEstly she is a very patient, smart, funny and HELPful woman. And I am very lucky to have her in my life. She makes ME a better man! |
| There are 3 types of people in this world. People who are unable to hear. People who don't want to hear. And then there are husbands who always hear but never listen! |
| I told my wife that she always blames me for everything. It's because of your behavior, she said! |
| Marriage looks so easy and attractive until you get married! |
| I promised my wife that I won't smoke again. Just to make sure that I didn't smoke, she left the gas on before she went out shopping and didn't even tell me. Feel so lucky to have such a caring woman in my life! |
| When the wife is giving silent treatment: 1. 10% of the husbands are worried. 2. 15% of the husbands try to know why. 3. 75% of the husbands enjoy peace & quiet. |
| I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes... She gave me a hug! |
| Whenever my wife's bored and needs some entertainment, she simply asks me which one of her friends I think is the hottest. The panic attack I'm having will keep her entertained for sometime! |
| If your wife doesn't cook for you at home, cook for yourself. You are not in a restaurant, you are in a relationship! |
