| My wife and I had this long pointless argument as to which vowel is the most important. I won! |
| My suicide note will just be a screenshot of my wife's message saying `We need to talk"! |
| Before getting married, men should pierce their ears. That will give them a hint about what's going to happen after the marriage: 1. They will be in pain 2. They need to buy jewelry |
| I need to buy my wife a GPS. She always complains that she doesn't know where we're going in our life! |
| Before our marriage, my wife said all she wanted me to be was a true lover, a trusted friend & a loving father. But she never told me that she also wanted me to be an electrician, plumber, cleaner, babysitter, launderer, sweeper, mechanic, driver & cook. IT WAS A SCAM! |
| Marriage counselor: Your partner allows you to make independent decisions? I look at the wife. Wife nods. Me: Yes, of course! |
| Men are from Mars and women are from a place where they complain about the way in which everything is done on Mars! |
| Married women are so prone to taunting, even if they don't intend to. They don't mean it sometimes, it just occurs spontaneously! |
| Told my wife to fight her demons and she took a swing at me! |
| Marriage is a wonderful institution where a simple sigh can turn into an argument of catastrophic proportion! |
