I went to a bar on the weekend and the sign read:
Hamburgers Pound 1:00
Cheeseburgers Pound 2:00
Hand Job Pound 3:00 (Oh yes!!)
I called the attractive blonde behind the bar across to enquire. "Can I help you?" she asked with a big smile. "I was wondering (I whispered) Are you the one who gives them ummm!! Hand Jobs?"
"Yessssss" she almost purrs
"I am" "Well wash your hands," I said, "I want a cheeseburger!!"
Who is the best blonde secretary?
One that never misses a period!
A blonde goes into a bar. The bartender asks her what she would like, and she replies, "Bring me a beer."
The bartender then asks, "Anheuser-Busch?"
To which she replies, "Fine thanks, and how's your cock?"
What do you call two nuns and a blonde?
Two tight ends and a wide receiver!
How can you tell when a blonde is dating?
By the buckle print on her forehead!
Why did the blonde like the car with a sunroof?
More leg-room!
What does a blonde say after multiple orgasms?
Way to go, guys!
A blonde entered angrily into the store, slapped a package on the counter and said, "What the hell is this?"
Clerk: Why Sir? Your cat didn't like them?
Blonde looking embarrassed whispered: You mean 'Pussy Treats' is for cats?
Why did the blonde have square tits?
Because she forgot to take the tissues out of the boxes!
Ques: How can you tell if a blonde has a vibrator?
Ans: By the chipped tooth.