My fitness instructor wants me to touch my toes.
But I don't have that kind of relationship with my feet!
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothes.
If I had any loose-fitting clothes, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
Me, 10 years ago: I can eat whatever I want.
Me 5, years ago: I can eat 3 slices of pizza, I'm watching my weight.
Me, now: I walked past Pizza Hut and gained 5 Kg!
My wife has stopped eating junk food as she's trying to lose weight. She requested me to be supportive.
So as a good husband, I'm now eating junk food for both of us!
In a battle between my heart and my head... I always listen to my stomach!
I just saw some idiot at the gym.
He put a water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill!
My self-care is just knowing there's a bag of unopened double stuffed Oreos hidden in the pantry!
I'm not interested in long romantic walks on the beach.
I'm interested in short quick walks to the cake in the fridge!
After 3 months of drinking hot lemon water with honey, I have lost 5 kg lemons and 1kg honey!
I was thinking of trying intermittent fasting.
When I woke up, I realized I didn't eat the entire time I was sleeping. This fasting thing is a piece of cake!