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My wife specializes in Sighcology!

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I once dated a condemned witch.
There was a lot at stake in the relationship, but now she's just an old flame!

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According to my wife, the top three reasons why she likes me:

1. I'm humorous
2. I'm handsome
3. She has bad taste

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A husband becomes suspicious when his wife is suddenly sad. A wife becomes suspicious when her husband is suddenly happy!

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Husband: What do you mean women don't like me? You were there last week when two women were fighting over me.
Wife: They were two lady doctors and they were arguing if you had to be given enema or not!

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In our marriage, an unanimous decision means what my wife decides!

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Wives are like small children, you've to be worried and careful when they're silent!

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My wife dated a clown before she started going out with me.
I had some pretty big shoes to fill!

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Airport check-in:
Airline staff: I'm sorry, the flight is full today. We couldn't allot you guys nearby seats. Your seat number is 2A and your wife's 42D
Husband: Thank you very much, do I need to pay anything extra for this service?

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There are two types of men:

1. Those who are scared of their wives
2. Bachelors