Wife: I'm sorry, I was wrong.
Me (Switches on the recorder): Can you repeat? It's a historical moment of our life!
My wife orders from Amazon so frequently that today one of the delivery guys invited her to his daughter's marriage!
Marriage is all about 'give and take'. My wife gives me advice and I take it!
Grocery shopping with my wife is just her repeatedly telling me to keep the items I took back to the shelf!
The most difficult years of marriage are those following the wedding!
Wife: I got you these flowers to show you how I feel about you. Husband: Thanks, but I'm allergic to flowers. Wife: That's the point!
My wife claims I'm the cheapest person she's ever met. I'm not buying it!
My wife is a strong woman. She can throw a can at me from 10 meters!
Marriage is for those people who think life is easy and want to level up the difficulty level from easy to super hard!
Wife: Sweetheart, you want to come to the bed?
Me: Oh yes!
Wife: I was talking to the dog!