| All I got for Christmas was a sweater... I would have prefered a screamer or a moaner. |
| After making love I said to my girl, Was it good for you too? And she said, I don't think this was good for anybody. Garry Shandling |
| I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself. Johnny Carson |
| To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you're impotent. She can't wait to disprove it. Cary Grant |
| The trouble with government regulation of the market is that it prohibits capitalistic acts between consenting adults. Robert Nozick |
| It's so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up who. Joan Rivers |
| The eyes are the whores of the senses. Keith Richards |
| I think that one should view with philosophic admiration the strange paths of the libido and should investigate the purposes of its circuitous ways. Carl Jung |
| If most men and women were forced to rely upon physical charm to attract lovers, their sexual lives would be not only meager but in a youth-worshiping country like America, painfully brief. Gore Vidal |
| Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means. Henry Youngman |