I found a wallet with 20 quid in it. I wasn't sure how to proceed, but then I thought, "What would Jesus do?" So I turned it into wine! |
I heard that Starbucks is planning on selling beer and wine. Apparently, it's getting difficult to sell sober people a $12 cup of coffee! |
Find the error in this sentence... "Let's have coffee this evening?" The spelling of Whisky is wrong! |
Pro Tip: Order two drinks at a time so both of your hands are full and you can't text people you shouldn't! |
When you have wine and cheese you're drinking grapes and eating milk! |
Alcohol is just water with feelings in it! |
I ran out of coffee this morning. Tequila seemed to a reasonable replacement. Everyone seems so pretty today! |
Pro Tip: In summers, drink alcohol in the noon... if you fall down people will assume it's due to heat wave! |
Newage sign by Traffic Police: Drink and Drive; we will show you new bars! |
Auto reply message of a drunkard: Can't talk now... . . . . . . . Alcohol you later! |