My wife is so confusing. First she told me to be myself and then she told me to stop being an idiot! |
Saw a flying saucer today. It appeared right after the flying cup that my wife threw at me! |
90% of being a good husband is knowing when to apologize! |
Minimum 6 ft distance No hugging No kissing So basically, Coronavirus situation is like marriage. But with a cough! |
To all the wives who said, "You don't spend enough time with me." Bhagwaan Se Maafi Maang Lo! |
If I'm quarantined with my wife and I die, please be aware that it was not the Coronavirus! |
My wife's a visionary. She used to stay six feet away from me even before Coronavirus was a thing! #Coronavirus #Covid_19 |
A wife asked for legal opinion from her lawyer husband on why wives are supposed to cook food for their husbands. He said, "According to Geneva Convention, all prisoners must be provided with Food!" |
7 out of 10 wives say that their husbands are always wrong. And the other three are upset with their husbands and do not want to talk about it right now! |
The noise reduction feature in my new headphone is not working. I can still hear my wife yelling at me! |