| To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up. |
| I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't. |
| All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage. |
| Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love. Love risks degenerating into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing. |
| A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down. |
| Marriage is neither heaven nor hell, it is simply purgatory. - |
| We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations--we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together. |
| Women are confusing. They hate it when you ask how old they are, then they turn around and bite your head off if you forget their birthday. |
| Don't tell a woman she's pretty; tell her there's no other woman like her, and all roads will open to you. |
| Men for the sake of getting a living forget to live. |