| All those people resorting to panic buying: Make sure you stock up condoms, so you don't produce any more idiots! #Covid_19 #Coronavirus |
| The Dettol commercial told me to disinfect the things I touch most. Now I can't pee! #Covid_19 #Coronavirus |
| I was so excited when my wife texted me that she wanted to be on top tonight. Didn't have a clue that she was talking about the bunk bed that we bought last week! |
| Sex after a certain age should be removed from the list of sins and placed in the list of miracles! |
| When you hear sounds like aah oh uhh between 9:00 PM and 3:30 AM, it is SEX. When you hear sounds like aah oh uhh between 9:00 AM and 3:30 PM, it is SENSEX! |
| If you like having sex while listening to music - always choose a live album. That way you'll get an applause every 3 to 4 minutes! |
| I was like 'Whatever Bitches' and the bitches whatevered! |
| In today's relationship: You can touch each other's private parts. But you can't touch each other's cell phones because they are so private! |
| Uncle: Beta Shaadi Kar Lo. Boy: Nahi Uncle Yeh Pant Par Dahi Giri Hai! |
| A year ago I decided that I'll smoke only after sex. Well, I haven't smoked in a year! |
