| Last night my wife wore a police uniform to bed and said, "You are being charged with being good in bed." 90 seconds later the charges were dropped due to lack of evidence! |
| How do you know when your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes pile up! |
| Masturbation is the only thing that is not taxed, regulated or illegal. That's your 'freedom'. You are free to go fuck yourself! |
| A man and a woman can just be friends with no sex involved. It's called marriage! |
| I regret choosing to be an accountant. I thought "double entry" was something else! |
| No one cleans better than a man expecting to get laid! |
| Kid 1: Penchod Kid 2: Penchod Wife: Kuch Bolenge Aap Inko? Husband: Bhenchod Hota Hai! Wife: Woh Pen Ke Liye Lad Rahe Hain! |
| My bachelor friend told me that he hasn't had sex in such a long time that he's beginning to feel like he's married! |
| 1st year of marriage: Great sex! Now let's cuddle and fall asleep. 10th year of marriage: Sex? We just did that in April! |
| I asked my girlfriend why she never blinks during sex. She said, "There isn't just enough time!" |
