Mature Jokes

One day, Little Johnny`s teacher, Miss Figpot asked the class if they could name some things you can Suck or Lick!"
"Ice cream, ma`am!" Little Mary answered.
"Good, Jane." Miss Figpot said...

To My Dear Wife, During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times,which is an average of once every ten days. The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often...

Little Johnny and Little Mary were walking home from school one day. As they walked along, they saw two dogs knotted up along side the road, doing it, well, doggy style...

Percy, an elderly gentleman, opens the door to his apartment and finds a beautiful young girl stealing his money.
Percy says...

Harry, Bill and Steve are sitting at the corner bar enjoying themselves, when Ted walks in looking distressed...

A Rabbi`s wife was expecting a baby, so he stood before the congregation and asked for a raise. After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the Rabbi`s family expanded, so would his pay check...

Once upon a time there was a young redneck by the name of Jack. Jack lived and worked on a farm with the farmer, the farmer`s wife and their daughter Mabel. One fine day as Jack was attending to his daily chores he saw Mabel bending...

A man, new in town, goes to the best brothel in the city. Choosing the best looking girl in the place, he retires to a large and well-appointed suite, where he has some of the best sex of his life. Satiated, the man asks...

Teacher turns to her class and says, "Today class, we are going to pick out some big words and use them in a sentence. Jenny would you like to go first?"
"Yes Ma`am. Hypocrite. That boy was a hypocrite...

There were three guys hitchhiking along the roads of a plain, boring field because their car overheated from the long drive. Exhausted, hungry, and thirsty from the long walk, they were desperately willing to stay over...