Mature Jokes

ANGLO/SAXON WOMEN: First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date: You get to grope all over and make out a bit.
Third date: You get to have sex but only when she...

A dog lover, whose dog was a female and `in heat`, agreed to look after her neighbor`s male dog while the neighbors were on vacation. She had a large house and believed that she could keep the two dogs apart. However, as she...

A 23 year old girl got pregnant.
Mother (Angrily shouts): Who was that pig? Call him now!!!
30 mins later, a Rolls Royce stops in front of their house. A matured grey hair man in a very expensive...

A flat-chested woman was delighted when her Fairy Godmother said her breasts would increase in size each time a man said, "Pardon," to her. She walked down the sidewalk, accidentally bumped into a man and he said...

A stunning blonde had gone to her student adviser for some course problems, but seemed to be paying only half attention to his replies.
"Are you feeling OK," he asked?
"Well, to be honest...

"Doc, you`ve gotta help me... my wife just isn`t interested in sex anymore. Haven`t you got a pill or something I can give her?"
"Look, I can`t prescribe..."
"Doc, we`ve been friends for years. Have you ever seen me this upset? I am desperate...

A cop stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name.
"Fred," he replies.
"Fred what?" the officer asks.
"Just Fred...

The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Phil, had a terrible...

An Irishman went to Confession in St. Patrick`s Catholic Church. "Father," he confessed, "it has been one month since my last confession. I had sex with Kitty Green twice last month."
The priest told the sinner...

Conscience is left behind at the gate... Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry. Heavy Bosom is being pressured and Passionate Lady is caught between Thighs, and Big Dick is in a dangerous spot... AT THE HALFWAY MARK...