Mature Jokes

As a hooker was dressing, she turned to her customer and asked, "Have you just gotten out of prison?"
"Yeah," the guy replied. "How did you guess...

Having downed a few drinks, a gud luking lady turned around,faced him, looked straight in the eye, and said: Listen buddy, I am always ready to get screwed by anybody, anytime...

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching...

Maurice comes home one day to find his wife Hannah, an English teacher, in bed with...

One day this old man was about to have sex with an eighteen-year-old girl, who he did not know. The old man began to put on his condom when the young girl asked him...

1. Everybody likes sex and nobody likes school, except for virgins and only because they haven`t had sex yet.
2. Sex sucks, moans, licks, pumps, throbs etc..., school just sucks....

"First," said the playboy, "I`m going to buy you a few drinks and get you a bit loose."
"Oh no you`re not," said the girl.
"Then I`ll take you to dinner and...

A salesman, who getting ready for his next trip, asks his wife to include a condom in his suitcase. His wife instantly asks, "Why???"
He replies, "Just a reminder of...

A young man in a public swimming pool was startled when his swimsuit fell off. He was in the deep end, and couldn`t find it, no matter how desperately he looked. Perplexed, he went to the shallow end...

There was a group of army men marching down a road at night looking for a place to stay. They came upon...