Mature Jokes

A stewardess did her usual act of showing passengers the safety drill. Near the end she said, "And in the event of an emergency, bend forward and put your head between your legs....

"Y`all got any american razor blades in here?" The Texan asked the London pharmacist. "All I see are these damn Wilkinson."
"Sir," the Englishman patiently replied, "Wilkinson has been producing...

There`s a student in medical school who wants to specialize in sexual disorders, so he makes arrangements to visit the sexual disorder clinic. The chief resident is showing him around...

Two fellows from the deep South were sitting around talking one afternoon. After a while the first fellow says to the second, "If`n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday and have sex with...

A man comes home from work one day and he says to his wife, "Honey, I got a new secretary, and imagine what happened! She`s got a red and white bra. You know, these are the colors of my favorite...

A midget went into a whorehouse. None of the girls wanted to provide the service for him, so finally they drew lots and Julie was the unlucky one. So they went up to the room. A minute later...

This truck driver is cruising down this dusty ass country road, when out runs this rooster and he runs it over, killing it. He stops, and walks up to the farm, and knocks on the door...

Mrs. Johnson the elementary school math teacher was having children do problems on the blackboard that day.
"Who would like to do the first problem, addition?"
No one raised their hand...

A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket. If he could just get...

One night a man heard howls coming from his basement and went down to discover a female cat being raped by a mouse. Fascinated by what he saw, the man gained the mouse`s confidence with some cheese and then...