Mature Jokes

Santa ki party mein dinner karte hue Banta ke paas Jeeto ji aayi aur boli, "Kya Banta ji, aapne toh kuch liya hi nahi," aur chicken ki ek tangri...

During sex, the girlfriend started screaming, throwing hands and crying.
Boyfriend: What are you doing? This is not the first time we are doing...

A guy met this girl in a bar and asked, "May I buy you a drink?"
Looking back unimpressed at the man she replies, "Okay, but it won`t do you any good...

A woman recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home...

A wealthy socialite had a night out on the town with her friends. She awoke the next morning, totally naked and with a monster of a hang-over. So she rang for the butler and asked...

Daughter: Dad I gotta tell you something.
Dad: What`s that?
Daughter: I`m a lesbian...

A girl fell in love with a sailor and had his picture tattooed on her right breast. The romance waned. In due time, she fell in love with a soldier and had his picture...

Santa had an obsession with women`s breasts. So he went to a psychologist and told the doctor about his problem.
"I am going to do word...

Husband: Every time you talk you say my chair, my car, my TV, everything is yours. You never say ours. I`m your HUSBAND! It should be...

A radio station was running a competition, words that weren`t in the dictionary yet could still be used in a sentence that would make logical sense...