Mature Jokes

A guy goes for a Job in a Timber Wholesalers, The interviewer asks him what experience he has, to which he replies, "I`ve been in the trade for so long, I can identify any wood just by it`s smell..

Bad Bernie was in prison for seven years. The day he got out, his wife and son were there to pick him up. He came through the gates and got into the car. The only thing he said was, "F.F...

Pierre, Marie, and their six children lived in a log cabin on the edge of a lake in northern Quebec. One day, Pierre decided he had had enough and set out across the lake in his canoe. Seeing this, Marie hollered out...

A door to door salesman is making his rounds through the neighborhood and knocks on the next house on his list. A little boy answers the door and the salesman says, "Hi, is your mother in...

Little Johnny and Jill were about to go into his apartment and before he could open his door, Jill said, "Wait a minute, I can tell how a man makes love by how he unlocks his door...

There was a couple going at it for the first time, and after a while, the guy asks the woman to open her legs a little wider. She does and they continue. A few minutes go by and he tells her again, "Open your legs...

My grandmother died in the 50s, but her birthday is coming up, and that always causes me to reminisce. The long walks we used to take to the store in town, the quarters she gave me for meaningless jobs like pulling...

A businessman and his secretary, overcome by passion, go to his house for an early afternoon "quickie."
"Don`t worry," he purrs. "My wife is out of town on a business trip, so there`s no risk...

A man enters a drugstore and asks the pharmacist for a pack of condoms.
The Pharmacist asks, "What size?"
The man replies, "I do not know...

A superintendent of a large, apartment building got the ultimate revenge when he was called for the umpteenth time to fix a rather snooty tenant`s clogged toilet. Going to her apartment, where the female...