Mature Jokes

A man comes home from work one day and he says to his wife, "Honey, I got a new secretary. And imagine what happened! She`s got a red and white bra. You know, these are the colors...

The middle-aged married couple finally moved into the Condo of their dreams, but right next door to a very hot fashion model. The husband had taken to borrowing...

In school one day, the teacher decided that in science class she would teach about the elements. So she stood in the front of the class and said...

A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I`ve been having all these years? Well, they`re gone."
"No more headaches?" the husband asks...

A man walks into a bar with a pet crocodile by his side. He puts the crocodile up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons.
"I`ll make you a deal. I`ll open this crocodile...

1. You can GET chocolate.
2. Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
3. You can safely have chocolate while you are driving....

Two guys are in a bar discussing their sex lives. One guy says to the other, "How`s your sex life buddy?"
The other guy says, "Not too good. Every time me and the missus have sex...

A man and his son were walking through a field, and saw two dogs mating. The little boy asked his Dad what was happening.
The Father replied, "Well, son, they`re making...

A blonde walks into a porno shop and asks, "How much for the white dildo...

A businessman was preparing to go on a long business trip, so he thought he`d buy his wife something to keep her occupied...