Mature Jokes

Eighty two year old Sister Croakster called her home teachers for an emergency blessing, crying, "I think my husband is having a heart attack!"
When the home teachers arrived there...

An attractive lady is waiting in the emergency room. A doctor walks in to her room and asks her, "What is the problem ma'am?"
The lady replies, "Doctor, I have been having trouble with my...

A man was sunbathing naked at the beach and for the sake of civility, and to keep it from getting sunburned, he had a hat over his privates.
A woman walks past and says...

Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car which said, TWO PROSTITUTES... $50.00.
A policeman seeing the sign, stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or...

The wedding date was set and the groom's 3 friends, who were a Carpenter, an Electrician and a Dentist were deciding what pranks to play on the couple on their wedding night...

A little girl runs out to the backyard where her father is working, and asks him, "Daddy, what's Sex?"
"OK," he thinks, "this day was bound to come, and I'm not going to let...

There once was a Red Indian whose given name was "Onestone". So named because he had only one testicle. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone. After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked...

The pick-up couple was relaxing after a satisfying session of love making. The guy considered himself lucky to have been able to attract and bed such a luscious looking dish...

One Day, Little Johnny was in Hospital. He asked the Doctor, "How are these Gloves Made?"
The Doctor Explained, "In the Company, there is a big drum full of molten rubber, so, they make people dip their...

A husband and wife were in the bathroom getting ready for work when the husband looked at his wife and said, "I gotta have you!"
He backed her up against the bathroom door, pulled down her panties and...