Mature Jokes

A flashy showgirl married a 97 year-old retired well-to-do General, largely because she held the belief that the old codger wouldn`t even survive the wedding night. While her new husband was in the bathroom...

A furrier from the United States went to Helsinki, Finland to purchase furs. The first night in Helsinki he met a gorgeous blonde named Sanna, and before long the two were alone in his hotel room...

Two guys are in a strip joint, one is sitting in front of the other. A woman comes on stage and starts stripping. The guy in back, Paul, says, "Oh yeah, Oh yeah!"
Then the first guy turns around and says...

Donald Duck and Minnie Mouse were spending the night in a hotel room. Donald wanted to have sex with Minnie. The first thing Minnie asked was, "Do you have a condom?"
Donald frowned and said, "No....

Rose had come to see Dr. Hardy. When the psychiatrist began using sexual terms, she interrupted, "Wait, what is a phallic symbol?"
"A phallic symbol," explained Hardy, "represents the phallus...

Shortly after his spaceship landed on the moon, the astronaut debarked and began exploring the strange new terrain. He had walked for only fifteen minutes when he came upon a lovely young moon girl, who was busily stirring...

A cub reporter for a small town newspaper was sent out on his first assignment one day. He submitted the following report to his editor: Mrs. Smith was injured in a one-car accident today. She is recovering in County Hospital...

After a tourist had been served in the Las Vegas cocktail lounge, he beckoned the waitress back and said, "Miss, would y`all give me a piece of ass?"
"Lord, that`s the most direct proposition I`ve ever had...

John comes home all excited with this bottle and says to Jill, "I bought this at the store. It is supposed to be a topical lovemaking aid for women. When applied to the `specified place` a rush of blood is let in and the woman...

A wealthy socialite had a night out on the town with her friends. She awoke the next morning, totally naked and with a monster of a hang-over. So she rang for the butler and asked for a cup of strong black coffee...