Mature Jokes

Lola, a saleswoman for a major condom company was required to travel cross-country to meet a prospective buyer. Her boss asked her to take about 100 condoms of various types with her. As she was running late...

A guy goes to see the doctor because he`s been a little too well endowed, shall we say. In fact, it`s 25 inches long. Can`t get any women to have sex with him. Anyway, the doctor says there`s nothing he can do medically, but...

One day a young cowboy and cowgirl decided to get married. He was a man of the world. She was an innocent bride with no experience. After the wedding they left for their honeymoon. While driving down the road, the new bride sees...

Larry gets home late one night and, Linda, his wife says, "Where in the hell have you been?"
Larry replies, "I was out getting a tattoo."
"A tattoo?" she frowned. "What kind of tattoo...

Little Johnny was in trouble again. He was charged with the rape of a grown woman, and all though the crime seemed highly improbable, the state`s evidence was overwhelming. As a last desperate move...

The distinguished-looking elderly man asked at the department store information kiosk where he might purchase some personal stationery. He was directed to the notions department on the third floor, but in the crowded elevator...

One day, this man, Tony, died. When he was sent to be judged, he was told that he had committed a sin, and that he could not go to heaven right away. He asked what he did and God told him that he cheated...

A blonde is pregnant, and is practically 9 months along. She goes to see her doctor for a routine check-up, but she is worried. She asks, "What if the baby starts coming, and I can`t get to the hospital...

The voluptuous blonde was walking down a dimly lit street when a man jumped out of the bushes. "Give me your money," he demanded.
"I d-don`t have any...

A tall woman met a midget at a party. The midget was barely three feet tall but they were attracted to each other. After a few drinks they went back to the tall woman`s apartment. "I can`t imagine what it will be like...