Mature Jokes

In a small rural town the local doctor is known for his abrupt bed-side manners. His last appointment for the Friday afternoon shows up a bit late, and he is more agitated than normally...

The new school year started and the grade school teacher wanted some students to tell a brief story about summer vacation. Several students eagerly raised their hands including Little Johnny. The teacher asked Alice...

A couple is on a plane in the middle of the night, and it is dark and quiet. The woman says to her husband, "Let`s have sex right here!"
"Are you crazy?" the husband replies, "People will hear and see us...

Three men went out on Sunday to play some golf. On the fourth hole, Fred chipped a shot into the rough. "You all play on ahead," he insisted. "I`ll catch up with you."
Off they went, but after half an hour had gone by...

A married man was talking about birthdays. He said to his friend, "I don`t know what to get my wife for her birthday, she has everything already. And besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I`m at a loss...

A man longs to wed a maiden with her virtue intact. He searches for years to find a virgin but resigns himself to the fact that every female over the age of 18 in his town has been at it. Finally he decides to take matters in hand...

During church service, this 16-year old pastor`s daughter stood up and said, "Praise the Lord!"
Everybody shouted with joy, "Hallelujah!"
She continued, "Since the age of 13...

An Australian ventriloquist visiting Pakistan walks into a small village and sees a local farmer Usman sitting on his porch patting his pet rabbit. He figures he`ll have a little fun. Ventriloquist: G`day Mate...

Joining a new company, Tim had to take a physical with the company doctor. All the tests came out fine but, after a brief hesitation, the doctor noted that Tim had the smallest penis he`d ever seen...

After an excitingly hot 69 position with his girlfriend, Jerry remembered he had a dentist appointment. He was afraid that the dentist would smell pussy on his breath so he brushed his teeth 7 times, used dental floss...