Mature Jokes

One night this guy and his girlfriend were about to go into his apartment and before he could open his door his girlfriend said, "Wait a minute, I can tell how a man makes love by how he unlocks his door....

A Mexican woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker were in Mexico arguing about which place had the toughest trees. The Mexican woodpecker claimed Mexico had a tree that no woodpecker could peck. The Canadian woodpecker accepted...

A man and wife were playing in their club`s annual "Guys and Dolls" tournament. The man was not happy about having to play, but his wife insisted. On the 12th tee, his patience had reached its limit...

A man gets his fiance, Wendy`s name tattooed on his penis.

So when he`s hard it says "Wendy," but when...

Even if you are pleased with your equipment, it is important to keep it hidden. Otherwise, you can get hurt in more ways than one...

The wife appeared before the judge and said, "I want a divorce from that jerk over there."
The judge said, "Why do you want the divorce?"
"Because he`s a terrible lover...

Ek Din Santa Ne Bade Dukhi Man Se, Lagbhag Rote Hue Banta Se Bola: O Yaar Banta, Aaj Mera Dila Bada Hi Udaas Hai. Banta: Kya Hua Yaar, Bata Toh Sahi... Aur Vaise Bhi Kehne Se Dukh Kuch Halka Ho Jaata Hai...

Ek Ladki Ki T-Shirt Pe Likha Tha: Amul - The Taste Of India.
Ye Dekha Ke Santa Bada Impress Hua Aur Apni Pant Pe Likh Diya: Kurkure - Teda Hai Par Mera Hai...

Ek Baar Santa Ko Ek Car Takkar Maar Jaati Hai. Use Kuch Log Utha Ke Pass Ke Hospital Mein Jama Karva Dete Hain. Hosh Aane Pe Ek Police Inspector Uska Byan Lene Aata Hai Aur Santa Se Puchta Hai....

A traveling salesman was driving through the Scottish Highlands when his car broke down. There was a cottage nearby so he went up to it and knocked on the door. The door opened to reveal a burly Highlander...