Mature Jokes

A fat man was seated on his front steps drinking a can of beer when a busy body spinster from down the street began to berate him for his appearance...

Three elderly women were sitting side by side in their retirement home, reminiscing. The first lady recalled shopping for groceries in the old days, and demonstrated...

An elderly couple met for a romp in the broom closet at the nursing home. They undressed and were about to have sex, but the woman decided to warn the man of her...

Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter.
He says, "Sisters, you all led such wonderful lives that I'm granting you...

The Sheriff in a small town walks out in the street and sees a blond cowboy coming down the walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun, and his boots, so he arrests him for...

Female newscaster, "So, Mr. Jones, what are you going to do with these children on this adventure holiday?"
Mr. Jones, "We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, shooting...

The limousine was taking the beautiful, raven-haired model to the airport. Halfway there, the front tire went flat.
The model said, "Driver, I don't have time to wait for...

A woman with 14 children, ages one through 14, decided to sue her husband for divorce on grounds of desertion.
"When did he desert you?" the judge asked...

A man walks up to a woman at their office and says her hair smells nice. The woman immediately goes into her supervisor's office and tells him she wants to...

Young Bill was courting Mabel, who lived on an adjoining farm out west in cattle country. One evening, as they were sitting on Bill's porch watching the sun go down...