Mature Jokes

A woman with 14 children, ages one through 14, decided to sue her husband for divorce on grounds of desertion.
"When did he desert you?" the judge asked...

A man walks up to a woman at their office and says her hair smells nice. The woman immediately goes into her supervisor's office and tells him she wants to...

Young Bill was courting Mabel, who lived on an adjoining farm out west in cattle country. One evening, as they were sitting on Bill's porch watching the sun go down...

There was this old woman who heard a song called "Two Lips and Seven Kisses."
She called up information after hearing the song on the radio to get...

Two old drunks were lapping them up at a bar. The first one says, "Ya know, when I was 30 and got a hard-on, I couldn't bend it with either of my hands. By the time...

An elderly gentleman came home one night to find a homeless girl of about eighteen ransacking the place. He grabbed her by the arm and was just about to call the police when the girl...

A High School teacher was giving her class a difficult assignment. She stressed the importance of this particular assignment. She said that no excuses would be accepted, unless there...

A teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with this see-through blouse on and no bra. Her grandmother just pitched a fit, telling her not to dare go out like that...

Three guys die and go to hell. When they arrive the devil informs them that he is going to remove their penises.
"Oh, how are you going to do it...

A guy is in the bathroom taking a piss when this huge man walks in and starts pissing in the urinal next to him. The guy just happens to look over and see the other guy...