Mature Jokes

A guy goes inside the confessional and says, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."
"What did you do, my son?" asked the priest.
"Yesterday I was walking along the beach at night...

This woman is driving into a small town and slams on the brakes as a coyote runs across the road...

After picking her son up from school one day, the mother asks him what he did at school.
The kid replies, "I had sex with my teacher."
She gets so...

A young couple are having sex in a muddy corn field one evening. The fellow asks, "Honey, could you check to see if it`s in you or if it`s in the mud???"
She reaches down and checks, "It`s in the mud...

Dad was in the field ploughing when he noticed Mary run into the barn. A few seconds` later, he saw Bruce run into the barn after her. After about 20 minutes they still hadn`t come out of the barn, so Dad decided...

Two older ladies, Margret and Jennifer, were walking through the museum and got separated for a spell. When they ran into each other later Margret said, "Did you see that statue of the naked man back there...

A man was sitting on a London train eating a bag of fresh shrimps, ripping off the heads and shells and then throwing them out of the window. After he had gobbled a few of them down an older woman opposite him said...

1. It takes 116 muscles to climax, but only 17 to smile. (But who cares?)
2. Sex makes you alert and ready to face the world ... it`s an ideal substitute for a hot breakfast.
3. The greater the orgasm, the deeper the sleep. Multiple orgasms...

Maria had just gotten married...and, being a traditional Italian, she was still a virgin. On her wedding night, staying at her mother`s house, she was very nervous...but, her mother reassured her. "Don`t you worry, Maria...

On their first date, a man asked his companion if she`d like a drink with dinner. "Oh, no, what would I tell my Sunday school class?" she said. Later, he offered her a cigarette. "Oh, no, what would I tell my Sunday school...