Mature Jokes

A salesman was testifying in his divorce proceedings against his wife. "Please describe," said his attorney, "the incident that first caused you to entertain suspicions as to your wife`s infidelity...

Pedro gets a New Secretary. He faces a volley of rapid fire questions from his wife, who is always a bit suspicious of her husband`s roving eye.

"Late again?" Miss Crabtree scolded Little Johnny.

"It ain`t my fault," said Little Johnny. "This is my Daddy`s fault. I`m three hours late cause Daddy sleeps naked!"

Miss Crabtree had taught grammar school for over...

Johnny wanted to screw, Margie, a girl in his class.....but she belonged to someone else... one day Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, "I`ll give you 50 dollars...

Banta was suffering from a terrible headache, so he went to see his doctor, a young recent Bridge course medical graduate. The young doctor listened to him carefully and told him...

A newly married man was discussing his honeymoon. He says to his buddy at lunch, "Last night, I rolled over, tapped my beautiful young wife on the shoulder, gave her a wink, and we had...

A couple that had been married for 20 years, every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the lights. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured...

At the retreat, a couple was told to individually write a sentence using the words `sex` and `love.`
The woman wrote: "When two mature people are passionately and deeply in love...

A woman awaiting surgery was lying naked on a gurney in the hallway when a man in a white coat came by, lifted the sheet, looked for a moment, then disappeared...

A working mother suspected her teenage son of bringing home girls after school. So, one morning she decided to buy a parrot. Entering the pet store, she asked the owner if he had any talking...