Mature Jokes

A guy is sitting in a bar, absolutely drooling at a pretty young woman in her short, pink mini-dress. Using the time honored ice breaker, he sends her a drink. "How lucky am I," he thinks, as she gets up...

Sadie and Yetta, two widows are talking. Sadie, "That nice Morris Finkleman asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give...

"First," said the playboy, "I`m going to buy you a few drinks and get you a bit loose."
"Oh no you`re not," said Anni.
"Then I`ll take you to dinner and ply you with...

A young farm couple got married and just couldn`t seem to get enough lovin`. In the morning, before Homer left the house for the fields, they made love. When Homer came back from the fields...

An army doctor walked into a room to check on his patient and to his alarm he seen a young army nurse masturbating him. He asked what to hell was going on. She said that the private...

Murphy calls to see his mate Paddy who has a broken leg. Paddy said "Me feet are freezing, will you nip upstairs and get my slippers for me?"
"No bother", said Murphy and goes upstairs. There he finds...

An older lady was out shopping when she notices a very expensive boutique advertising, "DRESSES AND HATS ON SALE." She can`t resist a sale and goes inside and starts trying on dresses and hats...

A guy is put before the judge`s bench because he is on trial for paying a prostitute for sex. "How do you plead?" asks the judge, to the defendant.
"Not Guilty, your honor...

A naive couple got married and celebrated their first night together doing what newlyweds do, time and time again but with the lights off.

Morning came, the groom went to the bathroom...

The madam opened the brothel door to see an elderly Jewish man. His clothes were all disheveled and he looked needy. "Can I help you?" the madam asked.
"I want Yana," the old man replied...