Mature Jokes

A woman went to the gynecologist, and when asked what was the problem, she responded, "Well, whenever I take off my clothes, my nipples get hard."
Shocked, the doctor took a deep breath...

The other afternoon a group of us stopped by a bar after work. While we all enjoyed ourselves, David was sitting at the bar morosely staring at his untouched beer. I walked over to him and...

There were 2 old-maid sisters... both virgins. It`s Friday night and Gladys looks at Betty and says, "I`m not going to die a virgin... I`m going out and I`m not coming home `til I`ve been laid...

A stewardess did her usual act of showing passengers the safety drill. Near the end she said, "And in the event of an emergency, bend forward and put your head between your legs....

"Y`all got any american razor blades in here?" The Texan asked the London pharmacist. "All I see are these damn Wilkinson."
"Sir," the Englishman patiently replied, "Wilkinson has been producing...

There`s a student in medical school who wants to specialize in sexual disorders, so he makes arrangements to visit the sexual disorder clinic. The chief resident is showing him around...

Two fellows from the deep South were sitting around talking one afternoon. After a while the first fellow says to the second, "If`n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday and have sex with...

A man comes home from work one day and he says to his wife, "Honey, I got a new secretary, and imagine what happened! She`s got a red and white bra. You know, these are the colors of my favorite...

A midget went into a whorehouse. None of the girls wanted to provide the service for him, so finally they drew lots and Julie was the unlucky one. So they went up to the room. A minute later...

This truck driver is cruising down this dusty ass country road, when out runs this rooster and he runs it over, killing it. He stops, and walks up to the farm, and knocks on the door...