Mature Jokes

A Priest was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him...

Two businessmen were taking a break while setting up their soon-to-open store`s shelving units. There they sat, in the middle of nothing but empty shelves. One said, "I bet any minute now some smart...

Travis had been rather upbeat lately. "What gives?" asked Jim.
"Just loving life, Jim. Loving life," he replied.
"Health, togetherness, motivated children...

Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don`t know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we`ve been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before...

Two guys were talking at the bar. One said, "I didn't know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything and what she doesn't have she buys for herself. I asked a friend what to give her and...

A newlywed couple gets back from their honeymoon and the husband decides that he wants to watch the video of their first night as husband and wife. He plays the tape and hears his wife say...

At an Irish wedding, everyone got drunk. The bride`s and groom`s families wrecked the reception hall fighting with each other. The police had to break up the fighting. The next week, both families were in court...

Once upon a time there lived a King. The King had a beautiful daughter, The PRINCESS. But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt. No matter what; Metal, Wood, Stone, Anything she touched...

Every year Simon entered the state lottery hoping to win. He never did. Finally he prayed vigorously, hoping for God's message, he walked around the fair. A flash of lightning struck as he was passing Suzie`s...

There was an soccer player anxious to make it into one of the Premier league teams. When he found out about the trials being held he held a party with his chums. One of them brought along some Marijuana...