Mature Jokes

A man, new in town, goes to the best brothel in the city. Choosing the best looking girl in the place, he retires to a large and well-appointed suite, where he has some of the best sex of his life. Satiated, the man asks...

A young buck went into a large store for a packet of rubbers. "Have you tried the rainbow ones?" asked the assistant, "We`ve got red ones, blue ones, green ones, orange ones, yellow ones, plus a few other...

A woman walks past three men in the office who are all bemoaning the fact they are about to be audited during the coming month.
Says the first guy with a groan, "I`m screwed...

Once in Fort William, Calcutta, there was a requirement to send the Pipe Band to the Command Officers Mess in the evening. The Subedar Major of Sikh Battalion got orders just two hours prior to event...

A Kentucky man went to see the local doctor and complained because his wife was having too many little bastards; she was having at least one per year. He said, "Doc, ya gotta help me, I can`t gets enough welfare...

A cowboy, from East Texas, who shall remain nameless, walked into a hotel barber shop, sat down in the barber`s chair and said, "I`ll have a shave and a shoe shine."
The barber began to lather his face and was sharpening...

Skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring, looks down and says: "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch cock...

The young bride`s mother had some old-fashioned ideas of marriage, and passed them on to her daughter. "Never let your husband see you in the nude," she advised. "You should always wear something...

Girl asks her mother: What is sex?
Mother: Sex is when you stop a car driven by a man who offers you a meal in a restaurant, and then you spend some time with him in the hotel room, sleep with him once, and then each one go...

Liz is pregnant, and is practically 9 months along. She goes to see her doctor for a routine check-up, but she is worried. She asks, "What if the baby starts coming, and I can`t get to the hospital in time...