Shit-house poets when they die
Should have erected where they lie
In memory of their caustic wit
Where they lie every dipped
A monument of solid shit!
Jesus loves me, this I know - that is why I don't drive slow!

How many months have 28 days?
Faster than a speeding ticket.

Take the number of days in a leap year; add the number of months with 30 days; divide by the number of loaves in a baker's dozen; add the number of days in March; add the square root of nine; divide by the number of days in a week.
Which month are you left with?

I can think of six thin things; and I can think of six thick things too!

Two fathers took their sons to a fruit stall. Each man and son bought an apple, But when they returned home, they had only 3 apples. They did not eat any, lose any or throw any. How could this be possible?

She is hot.
She is sweet.
She always needs a lip for a kiss.
The whole world is mad for her.
Who? Who is she?
Do you know
Just be happy I'm not a twin...

Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear.
Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair.
Fuzzy wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy, was he?