Men are like Cement. After getting laid, they take a long time to get hard!
A man was quietly sitting in a bar when someone shouted, "All lawyers are assholes!"
The man jumped to his feet and said, "Hey! I resent that!"
"Are you a lawyer?"
"No, I'm an asshole!"
If your payment is pending with your female client text her "send dues". Chances are that you may get lucky if she misreads it!
Men are like Bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are!
Men are like chocolate bars - sweet, smooth, and they usually go straight to your hips!
An Australian asked a woman whether she would have sex with him. She refused.
"In that case, do you mind lying down while I have some?"
Girl: I love kids.
Boy: I love the process!
Border Par Jung Shuru Ho Gayi
Santa: Major Sahab Main Dushmano Ki Maa Chod Dunga.
Major: Bhosdike, Dushman Marne Hai, Paida Nahi Karne!
Given the number of Godmen in the country and the incidents around them, the government should constitute a "Baba Regulatory Authority of India".
BRA of India!
A drunken while kissing his girlfriend, "Darling your lips are very salty."
Girl: Stupid stand up!
