If somebody has decided to dislike you inspite of you trying your best to win them over, just accept it and move on. They don't deserve you!
Son: You know, cockroaches can live for 9 days without their heads before they starve to death. Wife, looking at me: That's nothing, some people I know have been living without a brain for more than 30 years!
My wife told me that she has a throat infection and the doctor advised her to take a voice rest for a couple of days. That doctor is my favorite person now!
You don't have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great!
Work for a cause, not for applause. Live life to express, not to impress. Don't strive to make your presence noticed, just make your absence felt!
The wife called the husband as he was having a drink at the bar. Wife: I've cooked dinner, and if you're not home within 20 minutes I'm going to feed it to the dog. Husband: Don't punish the dog for my mistake!
Things weren't "better" when you were a kid, you just didn't notice the trash around you!
A man may be a fool and never realize it. Unless, of course, he is married!
"This month your wife will speak less." It has nothing to do with astrology... it's just that this month only 28 days!
Husband calls his wife: Wife: Bhonko! Husband: Kabhi To Thodi Tameez Aur Izzat Se Baat Kar Liya Karo. Wife: Bhonkiye!
