What do you call someone that saw an iPhone being stolen?
An iWitness!
Soldier, what is your first name?"
"It's D-d-d-david, sir."
"Do you have a stutter, soldier?"
"No sir, but my father did, and the guy who filled out the birth certificate was a real asshole."
I told a joke this morning in a Zoom meeting. No one laughed.
Seems I'm not remotely funny.
We had a teacher in school that was cross eyed. They say he had issues controlling his pupils
My wife texted me this morning and said, "Your great."
I replied, "No, 'you're great.'."
She's been in a great mood ever since. I should correct her grammar more often.
I texted my wife I Love U. She texted back saying.... That's my favourite letter too.
People are usually shocked when they find out I'm not a very good electrician.
Foreigner: Is it always this hot in India?
Indian: No, no… sometimes it rains and gets humid too!
Foreigner: Uses sunscreen to avoid tan.
Indian: Uses Fair & Lovely to remove tan!
Exams are like girlfriends...
Too many questions, very confusing, and the result is always disappointing!