Credit card offers are like marriage proposals...
Sounds sweet at first, but you’re stuck paying for years!
Difference between school and life: School teaches you lessons, and then gives you a test. Life gives you a test, and you learn the lessons!
1998: Don't get in the car with strangers.
2008: Don't meet people from the internet alone.
2021: Share a car ride with random people!
Being alone in the toilet is a reminder that you will always be alone when sh*t happens in your life.
Be strong!
Babies don't know dreams aren't real, so they must think they have some crazy adventures with you every day!
I don't think it's the age that makes us forgetful. I just think there's too much stupid crap to remember!
If you cannot find your dog, open the fridge door. He is standing right behind you!
If there are capital letters, why aren't there capital numbers? I want to be able to yell statistics at people!
The person who discovered coffee is indirectly responsible for a lot of other discoveries and inventions!
For procrastinators, "due date" and "do date" are synonymous!