Stayed up all night trying to remember if I have amnesia or insomnia.

Some people have a guardian angel. Mine just watches like it’s a reality show

Married people have, on average, twice as many family emergencies.

I told a joke this morning in a Zoom meeting. No one laughed.

Seems I'm not remotely funny.

People are usually shocked when they find out I'm not a very good electrician.

sms

What do pigs use in the shower?
Hogwash!

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Dear Vegetarians,
If you want to save animals then why are you eating their food?

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You know Bruce Lee was fast, but he had an even faster brother...
Sudden Lee!

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Tried to peel a pomegranate.
Took me Anaar!

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Did you hear the one about the greedy peanut butter?
I am not telling you. You might spread it!

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