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Upload to Facebook I used to be poor.
Then I met Shashi Tharoor and now I am impecunious! -
Upload to Facebook My doctor asked me if I have ever had a stress test.
Sure it's called life! -
Upload to Facebook Today my ex texted me, `My life is not the same without you`.
I was all excited and before I responded to her, I received another text from her `It's far better`! -
Upload to Facebook My girlfriend is so insensitive. She hasn't even introduced herself to me yet! -
Upload to Facebook At boss's funeral, kneeling and whispering at coffin:
Who's 'thinking outside the box' now? -
Upload to Facebook You know, people treat me like a God.
How?
They ignore my existence unless they need something from me! -
Upload to Facebook Our new marriage counselor is a woman. So basically, in addition to my wife, there's now one more woman telling me why I am such a jerk! -
Upload to Facebook A man goes to the Optician for his annual eye test.
The Optician puts a contraption on his face and asks him what he can see.
"I see empty Airports and empty Football grounds," he says. "I see closed theatres, closed pubs, closed restaurants."
"That's perfect", says the Optician, "You've got 2020 vision!" -
Upload to Facebook Got up this morning and ran around the block 5 times.
Then I got tired, so I picked up the block and put it back in the toy box! -
Upload to Facebook Who is a straightforward person?
One who forwards, without reading, anything and everything received from other groups!
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