Upload to Facebook | Women wearing yoga pants don't bother me because I've seen men wearing bike shorts! |
Upload to Facebook | Doctor's life goals: 1. Become a doctor 2. Marry a doctor 3. Have kids 4. Make them doctors 5. Get them married to a doctor 6. Die. Engineer's life goals: 1. Study engineering 2. Ask your siblings not to study engineering 3. Ask your friends not to study engineering 4. Tell everybody not to study engineering 5. Die watching everybody still choosing to be an engineer! |
Upload to Facebook | First Tiger Woods, then Lance Armstrong, then Oscar Pistorius; and now Steve Smith, David Warner & Cameron Bancroft. I think Nike should start telling their athletes "Don't Do It"! |
Upload to Facebook | What do you call it when a chameleon can't change colors? A reptile dysfunction! |
Upload to Facebook | On my tombstone, I want to be written... Finally, I got to be the center of attention! |
Upload to Facebook | One good thing about Veterinary Doctors is their patients... . . . . . . . . can't Google! |
Upload to Facebook | I stopped complaining about my insomnia after finding out I had 3 uncles who died in their sleep! |
Upload to Facebook | Dear Problems: Please give me some discount, I'm your regular customer! |
Upload to Facebook | I swear, I don't gossip, I simply recycle information! |
Upload to Facebook | When I reply "lol okay" I'm probably not laughing and it's definitely not okay! |
