I saw a guy drop all his Scrabble letters across the road. I had to ask him, what's the word on the street! |
The recipe said, 'Set the oven to 180 degrees.' Now I can't open it because the door is facing the wall! |
I was researching Atheism. Turns out it's a non-prophet organization! |
In my job interview, I was asked what some of my good qualities were... Well, my doctor always calls me patient! |
Harassed Husband: Sir, I am married for 17 years. Whenever we quarrel, my wife calls her brother from Bombay, who comes by next flight, punches me black and blue and flies back. My wife pays for the tickets using my credit card. Please help me. Answer from Councillor: I am very sorry to know about your situation. In today's world, this has become quite common for most of us. The best is for you to shift to Bombay so that you can at least save the airfares! |
If you collect 100 black ants and 100 red ants and put them in a glass jar nothing will happen, but if you take the jar, shake it violently and leave it on the table, the ants will start killing each other. Reds believe that black is the enemy while black believe that red is the enemy when the real enemy is the person who shook the jar. The same is true in society. Left vs Right Your religion vs My religion Before we fight each other, we must ask ourselves: Who rocked the jar? |
Doctor: What do you do when you feel stressed? Patient: I go to the temple. Doctor: Good... and you pray there? Patient: No... I mix-up all shoes kept outside and watch people more stressed than me and my stress goes away! |
The main function of the little toes on your feet is to make sure that all the furniture in the house is in place! |
GPS in my car is basically just one more woman in my life who tells me what to do and ignores my questions! |
Neighbour: I've been seeing your husband doing yoga every night. Very impressive. But I'm surprised why he's doing it in your driveway & that too at midnight. Wife: He's not doing yoga. He's just returning home from the bar drunk! |