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Upload to Facebook Top 3 situations that require witnesses:
1) Accident
2) Murder
3) Marriage
Need I say more? -
Upload to Facebook When my wife stops talking to me, I silently go to the kitchen and tighten all the lids.
Checkmate! -
Upload to Facebook A husband is someone who carries the picture of his wife in the wallet where his money used to be! -
Upload to Facebook I was born to be wild. But only until 6 PM. That's when I return home from work! -
Upload to Facebook Guaranteed things in life:
1. Sunrise
2. Sunset
3. My wife pulling the handle of the car door at the same time I try to unlock it! -
Upload to Facebook Pro Tip:
Your wife won't start an argument with you if you're cleaning the house or doing the dishes! -
Upload to Facebook I'm worried, guys. My wife hasn't yet told me what my new year resolutions are! -
Upload to Facebook Getting married is easy, staying married is hard.
I asked my girlfriend, her husband drives her crazy! -
Upload to Facebook Wife: I want equal rights.
Husband: Then you have to return some rights to me! -
Upload to Facebook Feeling adventurous?
Next time your wife calls you, reject the call and text her "He's busy". And then turn off your mobile.
All the best!
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