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Upload to Facebook I came home to find my wife in a romantic mood and she said, "Today you can do anything you want."
So I tied her up and...
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went back to the pub! -
Upload to Facebook I got soft closing doors installed throughout the house so we don't wake the kids at night but now I have no way of telling when the wife is in a bad mood! -
Upload to Facebook The wife said, "You haven't listened to a word I've said, have you?"
What a strange way to start a conversation with me! -
Upload to Facebook Husband is giving an order to his wife...
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Yeah that was the joke! -
Upload to Facebook Pro Tip:
Convert your sofa into a sofa-bed by simply forgetting your wife's birthday! -
Upload to Facebook Wife: Ugh I gained 3 kilos during vacation. What about you?
Me while looking at scale showing I actually lost a kilo, I gained 4 kilos! -
Upload to Facebook How to tell if a guy is married:
* Sleeps on a foot and a half at the edge of a king sized bed
* Says "what?" a lot
* Just agrees with everything without hearing the whole proposal -
Upload to Facebook Wife: Aapne Mujh Mein Kya Dekh Kar Shaadi Ki?
Husband: Nothing... I am daring since my childhood! -
Upload to Facebook Wife: I have blisters on my hand because of the broom.
Husband: Next time take the car, silly! -
Upload to Facebook Husband: I got trapped into marriage.
Wife (in anger): You were after me; I was not after you. You used to follow me to the bus stop, office, home, everywhere!
Husband: True! The mouse-trap never runs after the mouse! It is the mouse that runs into the trap!
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