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Upload to Facebook Her: At least, invite me out to dinner.
Him: I don't go out with married women, sorry.
Her: But I'm your wife.
Him: I make no exceptions! -
Upload to Facebook Before dying, his wife held his hands in hers... and said, "We'll meet again in heaven."
Since then, he's been drinking, fighting, stealing, looting and plundering! Desperate to land in hell! -
Upload to Facebook Pro Tip:
If you want your wife to be attentive to what you say, try talking in your sleep! -
Upload to Facebook My wife is so kind that she forgives me for all her mistakes! -
Upload to Facebook I'll never make fun of my wife for her weight.
I made a promise to her that I'll be with her through thick and thin! -
Upload to Facebook Your body at rest will continue to be at rest... until your wife notices and finds some work for you! -
Upload to Facebook Farmer: I love my job.
Wife: But all you do all day is round up cows.
Farmer: What did you say to me?
Wife: You herd! -
Upload to Facebook Words for a long, happy marriage:
Yes Dear
I'm sorry
It's my fault -
Upload to Facebook Life is short. Get up, walk up to your wife and tell her she's wrong.
Now life is even shorter! -
Upload to Facebook I didn't find out what happiness means until I got married...
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and then it was too late!
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