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You think you have mental issues? There are people out there who think that running is fun! -
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Congratulations, you have successfully made it to the end of August!
Welcome to level 9 of Jumanji!
#coronavirus -
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Once you are a married man, your prayers go directly to God's spam folder! -
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Wife: Honey, where do you want to eat from on your birthday?
Husband names 15 restaurants one by one
Wife: I don't like any of those. Why don't you call & book a table for two at some Chinese restaurant? -
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According to my wife, her favorite mythical creatures are:
1. Unicorns
2. Mermaids
3. Me, who listens to everything she says -
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If singing to your plants will help them grow, that shows why the forest loves its birds! -
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I missed the alarm and couldn't go to the gym today.
That's 10 years in a row now! -
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Every husband reaches that stage in his life that's referred to as the `Wonder Years` where he has no idea what's happening in his life and wonders why his wife's mad at him! -
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Ancient man: I invented the wheel. It'll help mankind to progress. I'm so proud.
Ancient man's mother-in-law: I should have asked my daughter to marry that John, he just invented fire! -
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Dream:
The first thing people abandon when they understand how this world works!
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