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Upload to Facebook Friend 1: How long have you been working at that office?
Friend 2: Ever since they threatened to fire me! -
Upload to Facebook Do you think your life is hard?
Think about a Doctor who has a crush on a nurse and still has to call her Sister! -
Upload to Facebook I and the wife went to the restaurant for the first time in ages.
The Waiter said, I am sorry but we are so busy tonight. Would you mind waiting for a bit?
I said no problem.
He said well take these drinks to table 10! -
Upload to Facebook Lockdown can only go 4 ways.
You will come out a monk, a hunk, a chunk, or a drunk.
Choose wisely! -
Upload to Facebook Zuckerberg claims he wears a gray t-shirt every day because he doesn't want to waste time on things that don't matter.
Well, he founded Facebook! -
Upload to Facebook Tried to take a selfie in the shower.
It turned out all blurry. I think I have selfie steam issues! -
Upload to Facebook My next-door neighbor and I are very good friends, so we decided to share our water supply, because...
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...we got along 'well'! -
Upload to Facebook I have the attention of a goldfish.
Seriously, it's been watching me for hours! -
Upload to Facebook So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn't for throwing at people who stress you out? -
Upload to Facebook I hate when I plan a conversation in my head and the other person doesn't follow the damn script!
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