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Upload to Facebook Police arrested two kids yesterday. One was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other off! -
Upload to Facebook All love stories end in tragedy. It's either a break-up or a marriage! -
Upload to Facebook Friend: When my wife is quiet, I'm really scared.
Me: Your wife becomes quiet? -
Upload to Facebook What's the worst thing about having a job at the unemployment office?
If you get fired, you still have to show up the next day! -
Upload to Facebook I bought some shoes from a drug dealer today.
I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day! -
Upload to Facebook My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought.
It's an extremely rare dish order! -
Upload to Facebook Wife: Why in all marriages girl sits on the left side and the boy on the right side?
Husband: According to the profit and loss statement a/c all income is on the right side and expenses are on the left side! -
Upload to Facebook Interviewer: How do you explain this 4-year gap on your resume?
Candidate: That's when I went to Yale.
Interviewer: That's impressive. You are hired.
Candidate: Thanks! I really need this job! -
Upload to Facebook A cop pulled me over and said: `PAPERS.`
I yelled `scissors` and drove off! -
Upload to Facebook Maggi is the only female in the world who gets ready in 2 minutes!
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