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Upload to Facebook I asked my wife if we should have an open relationship.
She smiled and said `Of course, first I'll push you out of that OPEN window and then organize an OPEN casket funeral for you. Is that okay?` -
Upload to Facebook Men, when your wife says she needs to have a word with you, it's never just a word. Be prepared! -
Upload to Facebook Saw a shabbily dressed guy at the mall with a dirty beard and having a sad & hopeless look on his face. I felt bad, so I tried to give him some money.
He said, `I'm not a beggar, I'm just married and I'm waiting for my wife to return from shopping`! -
Upload to Facebook Is it okay if your wife changes the locks of the bedroom and doesn't tell you?
Asking for a friend! -
Upload to Facebook When my wife makes me angry, I look at her through the fork and imagine she is in jail.
It heals me spiritually! -
Upload to Facebook Husband: Are you mad at me?
Wife: Yes.
Husband: Why?
Wife: I don't know.
Husband: So you're mad at me and you don't know why?
Wife: I'm mad at you for many things. I don't know which one of those is the reason now! -
Upload to Facebook You're not a complete husband until your wife is upset with you, for a reason that you don't even understand! -
Upload to Facebook All these wonderful years of marriage taught our kids two valuable life lessons:
1. Mom is always right
2. Dad is always wrong -
Upload to Facebook What wife says: You have to learn to communicate!
What wife means: Just agree with me, you idiot! -
Upload to Facebook The kind of stress that I get from my wife watching me wash the dishes while she waits to inspect them is inexplicable!
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