My love comes in three sizes: Small, medium, and fully erect. |
With anal sex, I suggest you start gently. Find a slender midget. Or a member of Congress. |
It's absolutely unfair for women to say that guys only want one thing: sex. We also want food. |
I'm wearing a boxing glove, but I'm not a fighter. I'm a lover with a fist-like erection. |
I consider conversations with people to be mind exercises, but I don't want to pull a muscle, so I stretch a lot. That's why I'm constantly either rolling my eyes or yawning. |
Will work for food. Will work for sex. Will work for the weekend, but I won't work five consecutive days for it. |
Reading-it's the third best thing to do in bed. |
She looked like the kind of woman I could fall in love with. Trouble is, she was standing next to the kind of woman I'd like to make love to. |
I want to lose weight by eating nothing but moon pies, which have significantly less gravity than earthier foods such as fruits and vegetables. |
Unless I'm at a wedding, I don't like veiled threats. |