Santa: What kind of tattoo should I get?
Tattoo Artist: Something you feel a strong connection with.
Santa: Chhole Bhature Bana De Phir!
Santa: My wife should have been a Minister in the Government. She's extremely good at creating jobs.
Banta: How?
Santa: She creates at least 7 to 8 jobs for me every day!
Santa: Do you know why Akshay Kumar's wife is not a big star?
Banta: Why?
Santa: Because of Twinkle Twinkle little star!
Doctor: How did you get hurt?
Santa: I told my wife that she has gained a little weight during the lockdown. And that's the last thing I remember before gaining consciousness!
Santa: Your eyes are beautiful.
Jeeto: I got it from my dad.
Santa: I think you got it from your mom.
Jeeto: Why?
Santa: You see fault in everything I do, just like your mom!
Banta: Did you ever have any near-death experience?
Santa: Yes, once I told my wife "I can't watch TV, you're blocking my view" while she was vacuuming!
Jeeto: Can you explain why you're lazy all the time?
Santa: Can I explain it tomorrow?
Investment banker: Do you keep your money in the bank or at home?
Santa: In my memories!
Banta: You have started forgetting things, why don't you keep a diary?
Santa: No, I don't need to maintain a diary. My wife remembers everything I've ever done!
Santa: Weather is like my wife these days.
Banta: Oh such beautiful thought.
Santa: No, not beautiful but unpredictable!